Queens of Denial

Every gay Asian person in Boston knows that it's the most inhospitable place to be Asian. While the city serves as a hub for all Asians and Pacific Islanders to gather, it isn't friendly towards Asians, especially gay Asian men. Of course, it doesn't matter much if you're closeted or just visiting, since sexual identity isn't the end-all and be-all of life in this metropolitan city (as compared to the Bay Area). However, if you're Asian and have an ass, you can't get pass these five things:

1.) South End rice queens are their own species: I explained this to my friends from the West Coast about why gay white men from Boston are the worst of all rice queens. They don't match Californian rice queens, who are constantly exposed to a diverse range of Asians and Pacific Islanders; they can't compete with the Chelsea rice queens who typically make more money or are high up there on the ladder. Instead, you get the worst combination of the two...ignorant, middle class yuppies who think the best flavor of the Orient comes in the variety found in Details. Moreover, these types of rice queens often are the bigoted types who have prejudices against black people, yet are willing to "settle" for Latino boys.

2.) You people all look the same: Unlike the West Coast, the term ethnicity isn't often used, although it probably isn't in the vocabulary of many folks anyways. Instead, people commonly like to use the term nationality. So, quiver when they ask you, 'Where were you born?" or "What country are you from?" I personally get annoyed when people suddenly lump all ethnicities together into one neat, little package. Of course, I'm Chinese, so I shouldn't be too offended when they automatically call me that, but I'm sure my other friends aren't too thrilled that they're a case of mistaken ethnicity.

3.) "Drag" race to hell: While I love my Asian sisters, I'm miffed by South End rice queens' persistence that all Asian boys are somehow closet drag queens. Sure, we all experiment once or twice with clothing that we're not too familiar with, but it doesn't mean that all yellow people are looking to lip sync the next Britney or Christina hit...at least not in nine inch heels (right, Phillip?).

4.) Smooth like rice paper: When you see anything written about smoothness, you can bet that some rice queens is talking about an Asian boy. Here, it's inevitably about a smooth ass to boink...versus those hairy mounds of the local bear at Eagle. If you happen to have even a slight fuzz, you're probably not Asian enough for the men here. Of course, it's always a double standard when they enjoy your Cottonelle-soft behind, but you're being chafed by their stubble...ahemm...and no, stubble ain't a fun texture.

5.) Potato queen until proven innocent: Amidst the starchy minefield that is the Bostonian dating scene, Asians are all type-cast as being potato queens. That, unfortunately, is based on the realities of the statistics...the chances that you find another gay Asian or Pacific Islander for a boyfriend is substantially more difficult than dating a South End rice queen. What are your odds? You're 13.75 times more likely to date a white guy than an Asian guy...how's that for a needle in a haystack?